The famous can do plenty
But we average can do more
Because the famous can’t set foot …
Inside a 99 cents store
And the average guy can let off steam
Like a hurricane that’s blowing
But the famous guy can’t do that
Without the whole world knowing
And why are famous athletes
Always in a lather
Well, I suspect
They can’t select
The shaving cream they’d rather
You see they have no other course
Than use the product they endorse
While average guys will never fail
To choose the brand we find on sale
Our photos are on Facebook
For all our friends to see
The famous have their mugshots
Plastered up on TMZ
If I flirt while I’m at IHOP
It’s really kind of funny
If I did that and was famous
I’d get sued for half my money
What the famous get away with
For some, it kind of rankles
But I hear it’s hard to have much fun
With bracelets on your ankles
While the famous have their virtues
They also have their vices
So many of them suffer
From identity crisis
Instead of greeting strangers
With a friendly “sir “ or “mam”
I always hear they saying,
“Do you know who I am?”
Sometimes I think I’m lucky
Sometimes it’s sure a bummer
I’m only Joe the Poet
And never Joe the Plummer
Now some may think me clever
Or just an ignoramus
But all in all I must conclude
I wish that I were famous
My soul and dirty laundry
For all the world to see
Oh, Mr. Breitbart
Won’t you post
A video of me?!
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